I spend a lot of time consuming media. I spend a lot of time reading about all of the terrible things happening in the world. And feel terrible that there is so little I can do. I spend a lot … Continue reading
Sometimes I worry that it might be confusing to the people who like my photography that I also do other things.
Photography is readily accessible and it only takes about a half a second for someone to glance at one of the photographs that I have taken. And I am glad that people like my work. It’s great that people will sometimes say nice things like, “Ooh, your pictures are pretty!”. However, it is really only a small part of the art that I like to create.
I’m also a painter. I tend to paint weird things, like Japanese rock stars looking at baby polar bears. I’m usually telling a strange story, which is perhaps less accessible than pretty wedding photographs or portraits. But it’s fun.
But music feels (and has always felt) the most important to me… because I am secretly a musician. I have been writing and recording music for… many years. This is generally harder to share, not only because I am bad at even sharing the basic information that I am a musician, but because it’s also a significant time investment for people to listen to music that isn’t shoved in their ears. And I’m not the type of person to do that. Unless you are a passenger in my car… or a visitor to my blog (^_^;)
I guess more importantly, I am all of these things and I am none of these things. People ask what my day job is and I tell them (grudgingly) as I do not feel as it accurately reflects who I am as a person. I am also of average height and Asian-American in case anyone is asking or somehow thinks it is relevant.
Some people LOVE boxes and categorization. Being in a box is more accessible and familiar than not being easily categorized. But I was born into a shade of grey. Conforming was never really a great option, but I tried for awhile. I don’t recommend it, unless that’s your thing.
(Note: You could wake up ten years later and realize that you’ve forgotten what you are supposed to be doing. And you wasted all of that time conforming to some sort of lifestyle that you never truly believed in.)
So it may be time to ask yourself… are you conforming to someone else’s expectations? Conforming to some absurd expectation our society/culture places on us? Conforming to some ideal that you will never attain? How did you get there? How will you leave? Will you stay…? Will you leave…?
Reflecting on the year. Good and bad… Suffering. Estrangement. Loved ones lost. The true friends that stand by your side through the bad times. Looking in the mirror and realizing that you are living a lie. Not knowing why you gave up, and picking yourself back up and trying again. The comfort of love. The lost years waiting. The loss of light… gaining insight. Finding the common threads that connect us all. Feeling lost and knowing that the answer was right there all along… Here’s hoping for a better future.