Within the last few years, I can really feel the gravity of time and the wrong choices I have made in my life. Choices that seemed right intellectually, but were perhaps not a great fit for me personally.
I feel anxiety about my lack of productivity.
I am going to work on producing something (ANYTHING) that is a finished creation on a weekly basis. I’ve just come back from vacation so I don’t have much. I’m posting a video that I did a few weeks ago, that I didn’t really say much about. Basically I entered the NPR Tiny Desk contest.
I have anxiety about my limitations.
I have anxiety about not having expensive enough equipment for my creative endeavours.
I feel like I’m stuck in quicksand and not progressing fast enough. Not moving fast enough. Not schmoozing near enough.
Anyway here’s a video of a song that I wrote and that I sang on video.
I’ve playing ukulele a lot and rediscovering my old songs. Rewriting old lyrics. Dusting off the cobwebs. Examining this historical record of my secret past thoughts and dreams.
Some songs never felt complete.
Some never felt quite right.
Some are just fun to play on the uke.
I was trying to get the intro right and the recording here is probably the 4th or 5th take (hence the swearing at the beginning). I decided to leave it in because 1: it’s authentic and 2: I like swearing. (笑)
It’s funny how so many years can fly by, but I still feel the exact same way.
This photograph goes with this song that I wrote when I was fifteen or sixteen. Both the song and photograph were created in a very different time period in my life… a time that feels very close to my heart… in the autumn.